TIRU
Suatu hari ayah Naim dipanggil guru besar sekolah kerana Naim didapati selalu meniru di dalam ujian. setiap kali ujian, Naim didakwa selalu duduk disebelah Azim.
ayah: saya tak percaya anak saya meniru setiap kali ujian!
cikgu: betul encik. kami bukan tuduh begitu sahaja.
ayah: ape buktinya?
cikgu: nah, ini buktinya kalo encik tak percaya tengoklah sendiri.
ayah Naim melihat kertas jawapan Naim dan Azim. soalan pertama: siapakah bapa kemerdekaan Malaysia? Naim dan Azim memberikan jawapan yang sama iaitu Tunku Abdul Rahman Putra.
ayah: memanglah jawapan mereka sama. macam mana cikgu kata anak saya meniru?
cikgu: sabar encik. cuba encik lihat soalan kedua.
ayah Naim melihat soalan kedua. pada tahun berapakah negara kita mencapai kemerdekaan? sekali lagi Naim dan Azim memberikan jawapan yang sama: 31 ogos 1957. Ayah Naim sekali lagi marah, tetapi ditenteramkan untuk membaca soalan ketiga: siapakah yang duduk disebelah Tunku Abdul Rahman di stadium merdeka?
Azim menulis: maaf, saya tak tahu
Naim menulis:kalu kau tak tahu aku lagi tak tahu!!
CHIMPENG
I was looking for an empty space to park my car in Bangsar when suddenly there's a knock on the glass.
"Encik ah..tanya sikit ah..itu Chimpeng mana ah..?"
"Apa?"
"Chimpeng, Chimpeng...saya sudah tanya itu guard ah.. dia ckaap sini ada satu Chimpeng...."
"Sorrylah Apek. Saya tak tau woh...Apa tempat itu Chimpeng?"
"Aiyah...itu Chimpeng balu punya..Saya mau pigi angkat wang la..."
"Tarak tau la boss. Itu kedai ka apa?Along ka?"
"Chimpeng bukan kedai ma..lu itu pun tak tau ah..? itu Chimpeng macam itu Maypeng, Public Peng, RHetB Peng...itu balu punya Peng.."
Adoi...apek..buat aku pening je..dia cari CIMB Bank ..
MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER
Interviewer : What is your birth date?
Muthu : 13th October Interviewer : Which year?
Muthu : ... EVERY YEAR
MUTHU & HIS MANAGER
Manager asked Muthu at an interview... . Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Muthu replied: P-O-S-T-B-O- X
MUTHU & LONDON TRIP
After returning back from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, Do I look like a foreigner? Wife : No! Why?
Muthu : In London , a lady asked me, "Are you a foreigner?". . that's why ...
MUTHU & TOURIST
One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Muthu whether any great man or leader was born in his village or not .. and Muthu said .. "No sir, only babies were born here .. "
MUTHU & DRIVER
When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted mirror. Muthu shouted, "You are trying to see my wife ? Sit back. I will drive.
MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL
Muthu went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing. Muthu pointed towards the board " WASH BASIN "
MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART
Interviewer : Just imagine you're in 20th floor in a building, it caught fire and how will you escape ?
Muthu : It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination ..
Oh .. i forgot . the funniest part .. On a political rally Muthu was arrested. Why ???????????? Because, a woman journalist walking with a badge wrote "PRESS" on her right chest ... and he did it !
Order
Suatu hari seorang orang kampung ingin makan di Mc'Donalds. Bila dia sampai dia tak tahu nak order aper…maklumlah orang kampung..sedang dia berfikir datang seorang lelaki lingkungan 30an ditepinya…Ahmad namanya…orang kampung itu pun merancang untuk meminta seperti apa yang Ahmad minta..
Ahmad :Bagi Big Mac satu..
Orang kampung: bagi Big Mac satu…
Ahmad: Air…Bagi air coke yer…
Orang kampung: Air…Bagi air coke yer…
Ahmad pon menjeling pada orang kampung tersebut..namun orang kampung tersebut buat tak tahu ajer…
Ahmad: ooo yer cik..bagi ash-tray satu yer…( masa tu Mc donalds buleh merokok lagi)
Orang kampung : ooo yer cik…bagi ash-tray satu yer…
Ahmad mula meradang lalu memarahi orang kampung tersebut…
Ahmad : hoi…yang kau pesan sama macam aku tu kenapa hah…takder otak ker?
Orang kampung: aper…ingat kau sorang jer ker makan ash-tray?
-Sources courtesy from my CCM mates at citraclub.com
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